The Weirdos Come Out During the Day

Now that I'm working from home, I do my errands at weird hours. It turns out that a WHOLE 'NOTHER breed of people are doing their errands too b/c they are not your typical 8-5'ers. These things have happened in the past 2 weeks. I kid you not.

PetSmart: The Humane Society was there with a bunch of foster dogs... pure bred labs, collies, etc. But OH NO - the Pit Bull was the one that everyone wanted to see. There was a man, I will call him Cletus, who had an award-winning mullet. He had even dyed the tail orange! The feathered part of top was perfectly parted down the middle and dirty blonde. He PUTS HIS HAND in the pit bull cage. The dog tries to bite him.
Cletus. "DAHAMMMMNNN, That dog ain't very friendly!"
Cletus then gets in a Dodge Ram pick-up truck with a bumper sticker that reads, "I eat Chevys, I shit Fords."

There was a woman driving on Yale in a Volvo with a bird on top of her shoulder, eating her hair.

At Food Pyramid today, I was in the self checkout line when it wouldn't ring up my Advil. The employee saunters over to help, looks at it and asks, "do you know how much this is?"
Me, "Um no. But pretty cheap."
Food Pyramid Chick sighs and examines her long purple fingernails, "Well can you go get another one for me?"
Apparently the idea of doing her job was just too daunting.